I am a teenager trapped in an adult body

Last night I went with some friends to watch the Pacers game. About halfway through, I found myself in a stall of the ladies restroom calling my mother and trying to plot a super-top-secret escape from the restaurant. Why?

Because I saw my old college boyfriend, the absolute love of my life, who dumped me the day before I graduated and single-handedly screwed up the next 2 years of my life. I hadn't seen him in about 8 years, and I sure as hell didn't want to see him last night. There he sat, drinking a beer with friends, looking much better than I really wanted him to.

Here's what I find interesting about this encounter: I am now a relatively normal, well-adjusted adult. Relatively. And I am a happy, happy person. I am in my 30s, for God's sake! But as soon as I saw him, I instantly turned into some kind of completely insecure, sick-to-my-stomach, anxiety-ridden, emotional teenage trainwreck. I completely freaked out. Thus, the trip to the bathroom and phone call to Mom.

And all morning, I've been asking myself - what is up with THAT?

Well, whatever. Maybe I'm not so well-adjusted after all. Anyhow, I did eventually leave the ladies room. And I managed to do so without walking past him and pouring beer on his head. At least I can be proud of that small victory.