Not a good look

I spent the better part of yesterday at the pool. I used sunblock, but I still got a pretty good sunburn.

I just looked in the mirror here at work and realized my face is nearly the same color as my pink and orange striped shirt.

I look like a complete idiot.

Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been

I just spent the last few minutes reviewing a very lengthy and detailed list of property lost from a 1970's Winnebago that was destroyed (and I mean destroyed) in a collision. The sheer size of the list alone is noteworthy (4 pages, single-spaced), but some of the items on the list are ... well, interesting:

* 20 bungy cords
* George Foreman electric grill
* portable commode
* vacuum sweeper
* bag of sponges
* 40 foot sewer hose
* goop glue
* purple comforter
* Bugle Boy dress pants
* Dave Mathews concert shirt
* steer horns
* 2 ron jon hats
* 2 smokeless ashtrays
* Reader's Digest books
* stacy's contacts
* extra big cooler

I have never seen the driver of this vehicle, but I can just imagine him with the Bugle Boys, concert t-shirt and ron jon hat, smokeless ashtrays and bags of sponges. What I really want to know is whether those steer horns were affixed to the front grill of the Winnebago because that would be really cool.

Happiness is...

... getting this fantastic Jack Johnson CD in today's mail at work and listening to it on repeat for the next four hours. Thanks, AJ! I'm lovin' it.

I want to turn the whole thing upside down

I'll find the things they say just can't be found

I'll share this love I find with everyone

We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs

I don't want this feeling to go away

What's in your bag?

At some point in their lives, most people (okay, most drinking-kind-of-people) have kept, stored, carried, or hid some kind of stash in a purple felt Crown Royal bag with the gold drawstring. One of my girlfriends once had her grandma sew her a pair of pajama bottoms from the bags she collected, and Tiff still wears them to this day. There are so many creative uses for the purple bags, even the Crown Royal website took note.

Items that travel nicely in the Crown Royal bag include*: card money, marbles, GI Joe parts and Barbie parts, fireworks, make-up, dog bones, cards and pictures you can't throw away from your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, highlighters and other school supplies, tobacco products, non-tobacco products and accoutrements, fishing tackle, dice and playing cards, condoms, beach supplies, miscellaneous crap from the bottom of all other bags, etc. * These items are not necessarily items that I myself have kept in bags, but rather items that have been suggested to travel well by others. Clearly, I don't keep GI Joe parts in my bags.

I recently discovered a new use for the little royal purple drawstring bag. I'm not much of a Crown drinker anymore, but I had a bag tucked in the catch-all drawer in my kitchen that came in very handy when nothing else seemed to do the trick. Perfect!

So, what's in your bag?

The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry *

Every firm has the person: the person who can "get things" for you. Sometimes it is the guy who has some elusive pull with the Powers That Be. Usually, it is the non-descript paralegal/secretary/legal assistant with a very large filing cabinet drawer and more power than anyone other than the managing partner. This is a good person to make friends with.

At my firm, the person who can get things is Stacy. She's been there for years, and I mean years since she was a kid out of high school. She's worked her way up, she's smart as a whip, she knows the scoop and rarely talks smack, and she has a very large filing cabinet. I befriended Stacy shortly after becoming a clerk here because she was friendly, fun, and knew how to get office supplies. She also taught me how to enter my time and send mail and find the ladies room. And she has more shoes than anyone I know except AJ. I respect her, I value and appreciate her, and I like her very much.

In my time at the firm, I have asked Stacy for the following, included but not limited to:
* A lint brush
* Excendrine
* Band-Aids
* Pepto-Bismol or Rolaids or something to keep me from throwing up
* Double-sided tape (when the hem in my pants' cuff came undone)
* Baby powder
* Gum, mints, anything to mask Bazbeaux's garlic pesto
* Clear nail polish
* Assistance with the fax machine (for the thousandth time)
* Kleenex

I have also consulted Stacy on the following:
* Litigation strategy
* How to approach the partners on various issues
* Firm history
* Gossip
* Filing requirements and pleadings protocol
* Case management assistance
* How-the-Hell-do-I-find-that-on-the-network
* Advice about men

Stacy is an absolute peach. Every firm has a Stacy, and I hope everyone appreciates her/him as much as I do.
______________________________

I know I've been on blog hiatus. It's happened before, and I appreciate those who still check in. I've thought about pulling the plug, but I think my motivation to spout my opinons and fluffy observations will overcome my recent lack of motivation to post. Sometimes you just need to get back in the saddle and ride. Thanks for hangin' in.

* Name that quote, kids, and don't look it up online! :)